The CATALYST Guide to Fashion

This is the last CATALYST post from me, I promise. I acknowledge that the conference was almost 4 weeks ago, but I’ve been sitting on this for awhile and knew that it was now or never.

This was my first time going to CATALYST and my first time in 3 years that I had gone to a Christian conference. I was excited about everything, except for the fact that I didn’t know what to wear. I’m pretty much a t-shirt and jeans kind of person, and even though I know Jesus wants me to come “Just As I Am”,  I wasn’t sure if that was acceptable attire at a Christian leadership conference.

Well, I took some fashion notes on what I saw (trends, looks, styles) and thought I would save you some grief if you were to ever find yourself at CATALYST (or a Christian conference like it). So for all of you who might be thinking about going next year, here is my CATALYST Guide to Fashion.


– Hats – Be on the lookout for the guy wearing the stocking hat pulled up halfway on his head. There’s also the flat-bill with the gold sticker on it (you know, like the cool jr. highers wear). If it’s not either of those, it’s one of those half-bill hats that I’m pretty sure are called “military”, but c’mon, it’s pretty much a green baseball hat with half a bill.


– HAIR (cranial) – Faux (for the uneducated, it’s pronounced “foe”) hawks are ALWAYS good. Regardless of age, personal style, or what color your sweater-vest is. It’s either the faux, or the ‘bie’ (pronounced ‘bee’), as in Justin Bieber. It’s longer hair that looks like you don’t care about it, but it has really taken you an hour to get it juuuuuuust right. Watch out for the neck-jerk that happens about every 11 seconds to keep the hair out of the eyes.


– HAIR (facial)In years’ past, I’m sure the goatee was the prominent face-grooming template. But if you want to keep up with the current Catalyst trend, just don’t shave at all. Grow out your facial hair until Grizzly Adams calls you about copyright infringement. And due to the current rise of actors like Zach Galifianakis, anybody that CAN grow a beard, DOES grow a beard. But for the sake of the nation and the guy sitting next to you fending off the birds living in there, try to keep it under control. Signed, that guy.


SHIRT – There are different variations in this category. If you’re going for a t-shirt, it’s gotta be either a free one that you got at the conference about 11 minutes ago, or a v-neck. No exceptions. If it’s a dress shirt, it’s gotta be long-sleeved and have a GIANT cross on the back or a MEDium decal diagonally across the chest and some pseudo-spiritual word somewhere on it. If it’s a sweatshirt, zip it up and pull the hood halfway up on your head, but not too far, so we can still see the stocking hat pulled up halfway on your head.

*DISCLAIMER – I like Perry Noble (the guy on the left). I just couldn’t find another picture of a guy with the kind of shirt I was talking about.


SHOESThis one is simple. It’s either: TOMS so you can let me know you care more about poor people than me without actually saying anything; or Converse All-Stars, so you can tell me that you care less about fashion than me even though your shoes match your hoodie which matches your hat, which matches your sunglasses that are hanging from your v-neck.


ACCESSORIESYou’ve got a laptop, your Catalyst notebook, and a whole lot of free cra-, stuff and you can’t be expected to just carry it around with your hands. What do you do? You throw it in your over-the-shoulder bag. Don’t have one? No problem, just use your Swiss Backpack this is big enough to smuggle out one of the guest speakers in it. Oh, you’d like to let me know that you’re creative? Be sure to carry around your Moleskin notebook and pretend to write in it as much as possible.


Luckily, I had a few of these things with me, so I wasn’t a complete disaster down there. If you don’t have these things, you might want to get on it so you can be set for next year. And if you’re still not sure what shirt to wear or how to comb your hair, all you need to do is follow these simple guidelines, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming  a Catalyst Fashion Champion of Destiny!


1 Comment

Filed under Observations

One response to “The CATALYST Guide to Fashion

  1. Brad Deetscreek

    Just a reminder that the scene kids are the trend setters. Great post. I laughed as I took notes in my Moleskin.

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