“Songs That Make Me Jump to Change the Radio Station”
1. “Into the Night”/Santana feat. Chad Kroeger – Um, I’m trying to figure out at what point Carlos Santana (legendary guitarist), who could have picked anyone in the music business to do a duet with chose, well, this guy. The whole first verse is Chad singing WAY too fast for his voice (sounds like I’m trying to fast forward through it, but I just can’t). And the chorus? Uh, hullo? It’s like he (Kroeger) was done writing the verses and was stumped on the chorus, so he grabbed his handy dandy vowell flash cards left over from kindergarten and started putting them together until he found two that he liked (“E-A? No. U-I? No. O-E? No…..but we’re close. O-A? Oh yeah, that’s the money ball”) Swing and a miss.
2. “Lips of an Angel”/Hinder – This song is downright rediculous. First of all, the whole premise of the song is that he’s cheating on his girlfriend (“My girl’s in, the next room…”). This alone makes the song deplorable. But then, his voice keeps this song from even being an audibly enjoyable song about cheating on your girlfriend. I mean, I’ve heard of having a gravely voice, but this guy sounds like he has an entire driveway in his throat.
3. “Sorry”/Buckcherry – This is another song that I can’t believe is popular. Actually, I can’t believe the band is popular either. Let me just say I hate songs that are all about being sorry about _________(see – “Sorry 2004” – Ruben Studdard). I especially can’t stand it when the band has other songs that are glorifying exactly what they’re saying sorry for in other songs. And once again, the guy’s voice is unbearable to listen to. Oh yeah, and their name is laughable.
4. “Through Glass”/Stone Sour – This is just one of those songs that tries to be deep and introspective and all it ends up to be is boring, repetetive, and confusing. Is it a sliding glass door? A bedroom window? Is this guy a stalker? Yikes. And while this time the guy’s voice is at least tolerable, it’s so monotone within the song, it feels like it’s about 41 minutes of the EXACT SAME THING. Plus, it starts quiet and I think they were trying to make it a build song with a nice crescendo, but it just turned out to be about 4:08 of a song that goes nowhere except, much to my dismay, into my car.
5. “Paralyzer”/Finger Eleven – Where do I start. Yet again, another rock band with a tremendously awful name. I’m sure it’s something deep and meaningful about the depravity of man’s soul, but I can’t help believe that it’s some sort of frat boy innuendo. The song itself is just annoying. When I first heard it, I thought that Disturbed (the band) had gone pop and then I realized that a guy who was trying too hard to copy the singer’s voice from Disturbed had instead, simply gone crap.
6. “Lonely No More”/Rob Thomas – I’m still trying to figure this song out. For the first 20-30 times I heard it, I honestly thought it was another awful song from Marc Anthony (who sadly did not make this list) . But then, as I listen to the verses, I’m getting the feeling like he “borrowed” the rhythm from Joe’s “Stutter Remix”. So is it a Marc Anthony rip off or a Joe rip off? After much deliberation, the jury finds Rob Thomas guilty. Not guilty of copying, but guilty of being awful.
7. “Over and Over”/Nelly feat. Tim McGraw – What a disaster. I’m not going to lie, Nelly’s first album, there were some nice songs on it. And I don’t really have any beef with Tim McGraw either. But when they came together for this song, it was supposed to be the “beginning of a new trend in music.” Thankfully, those people who said that have long since been fired. The guitar riffs in the background that mimic the melody are completely unnecessary and clog up the song. Nelly’s usual flow loses its edge when he drifts into 90’s R&B singing instead of his melodic hip hop style. Just a bad song.
8. “Please Don’t Stop the Music”/Rihanna – Talk about someone who is completely overrated as a singer. I can barely stand her when she’s backed by a pretty decent track (Umbrella), let alone when she’s teamed up with a track that sounds like it’s leftover from the C&C Music Factory Greatest Hits Album. I understand that it’s probably popular in the clubs, when all you’re listening for is the bass, and you’re not exactly “all together” (cognitively speaking). But when it comes on the radio, her nasaly voice cuts through my speakers not only into my ears, but into my subconscious where it’s stuck in my head all day.
****Note – I listened to each song as I was writing this and sweet dear, what a way to start a Friday