I hate failure. I hate the feeling of not being good enough. You know the feeling. It’s the feeling of volitional pain. Pain not caused by someone or something on the outside. But choosing and paying for it. It’s this feeling that drives me. For awhile, it drives me to God. But the effects wear off and I nail Christ to the cross one more time. I feel for Paul when he said “why is it I don’t do anything I know I should do, and I do all the things that I know I shouldn’t?”. God is real, alive, and working in my life and doing great things in molding me into the person he wants me to be. I just wish sometimes we were working together.